HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

Dale Carnegie’s “How to win friends and influence people” was written in 1936 and published in 1937- 76 years ago. It should be the first book that any aspiring public policy advocate, any politician, any leader should read and apply in his/her daily work. Dale Carnegie reminds us that the use of the principles, techniques, rules can be made habitual only by a constant and vigorous application of review and application. There is no one way. The principles, the techniques, the rules must be applied at every opportunity. If you don’t you will forget them quickly. Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.

Fundamental techniques in handling people

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.

Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong".
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

How to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your parise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

An integral part of public policy advocacy is relationship building. Public policy advocacy is developing goodwill through communications or activities, including the building of relationships with a designated individual with the intention of influencing current or future legislation or executive action or both. Public policy advocacy is human beings talking to one another. It is  really a series of interactions and conversations. You get places only if you spend a lot of time building the relationships so decision makers know you when you come back and they know to trust your information.